Accident, Mafia Style #2

Another "accident"

Me:  Uuuuuh, what was that crash?!

Wife:  Ummmm... I don't know.

Me:  What happened?  Was it something outside?

Wife:  Oh, uh, yea.  The table broke.

Me:  The table broke?  How?

Wife:  ... uuuuuuhhhhmmmm...

Me:  *looking outside*  I guess the wind caught it and tipped it over?

Wife:  Yea!  That's it!  I saw the whole thing!  The wind just picked it up, and threw it off the deck!

Me:  Well, I guess it is windy and raining outside... hey... how come you are all wet?

Wife:  I uh, I tried to save the table?  Oh well.  Hey, I guess I get to buy a new one now!

Me:  Uh-huh...

Oh well... I never did like that table...

Now, I'm not saying that my wife "threw" the table off the deck.  I mean, the table probably weighs about as much as she does.  But maybe she could get the edge up just a bit... you know, just enough for the wind to catch it and send it sailing off the edge of the deck.

Hey, how come my little light plans aren't tossed all over the place?

All I know, is that there have been a few too many "accidents" around the house lately when it comes to things the wife wants to have replaced.

She also ran out last night and bought some hair dye to dye her hair.  She is now a blonde.  Although I enjoy the new hair colour, she has been asking me some pretty silly questions lately... the same evening she dyed her hair, she could not figure out how to use her computer... and if you are on the FOI, Rumour Queern or ZhongShan forums, you would know that she uses her computer ALOT for messaging.  I'm not saying its the blond hair, all I'm saying is that when she was a brunette we didn't have this problem.

Okay, so what is this really all about?  Its all about day 87.  Or so.  Not that we're counting.

Okay, *someone* is counting... and she is trying to distract herself.

Oh well.  I don't think it's working... BUT, if you are adopting from the ShanXi CWI, you might want to check out this link:  http://www.taiyuan-fly.com/

It is the orphanages home page.  There is a bunch of stuff up there... one of them is the story of an "one armed" lady who came to the orphanage to help teach the children and to show that they can have a happy healthy life, even if they are missing an arm...   I think it is great that the orphanage is doing things like this... it is very forward thinking and a great example for the children.

There is also a letter from the director of the orphanage - dosn't say much, and its a couple years old... but at least you can see that face of the person running the place caring for your children (if you are adopting from ShanXi).

They even have stories of international adoptions from their orphanage...

So there you go all your adoptive parents waiting like us... for 87 days...  hit up the orphanage website and kill a few hours struggling through the poorly translated English Translations (via google translate) gleaming tidbits of information about your child.

... that should keep her busy for a bit.  :-)

I guess joking aside, it is so very hard to wait...  to keep ourselves distracted... to keep ourselves from going crazy waiting to hold our new children.  How are they waiting?  Is my little Lukai somewhere in China right now, aware he is being adopted and anxiously waiting for us?!  I know since we've been home, Ping (our 1st adopted daughter) has asked us many time "Why you take so long to come get me!".

We're coming little Lukai!  We may have all new furniture when you get here here... and your mother may be a red head by then... but we are coming!

adopting SN step two: the paperchase

This is the second post (read first post here) that attempts to answer the oft asked question:
"How do I get started? We have decided we want to adopt a child from China through the special needs program, but what do we do next?"

Once you've chosen an agency, the real work begins.

It's time to start the mind-numbing process of collecting paperwork for your dossier.

And as ridiculously long winded and painfully difficult it might seem at times, believe me, it's totally worth it in the end.

Whether you've 'found' your child yet or not, you still must complete all the necessary paperwork to be approved both by the USCIS and the CCAA to adopt from China. This phase of the adoption is knows as the "paperchase". Each adoption agency has specific guidelines to follow for compiling this paperwork, which is one of the reasons it's generally recommended to sign up with an agency before starting your paperchase.

Shortly after applying to and being accepted by an agency, you should receive a very large binder, or something similarly gargantuan, that will spell out in great detail how to compile your dossier. Expect this binder to be the place in which you will spend every spare moment for the next several months.

I'm not gonna lie. This phase of the adoption process is no fun. But, like I said, every ounce of effort is totally worth it when you are holding your newly adopted child.

The *key* component to a dossier is the USCIS approval, also known as the i800A. It is so important because firstly, you can't adopt an orphan without it. And secondly, it's generally the most time consuming portion of the dossier compiling process.

The documentation required to apply to USCIS for your i800A is as follows:

1. Proof of U.S. citizenship
2. Proof that you are married and that any previous marriages ended legally (ie. divorce decrees)
3. A complete and current home study
4. Proof that you have complied with the pre-adoption requirements of the state in which you will live with your adopted child, if necessary
5. The required filing fee for your application
6. Fingerprints for all household members over the age of 18, collected by the USCIS
*more information here

Because a homestudy is required to apply for USCIS approval, the best and most expeditious way to get started on your dossier is to get started on your homestudy. Generally, four or more visits with your social worker are necessary. And that takes time. Also required are state clearances, financial information, autobiographies, reference letters, physicals and, depending on the state in which you reside, various and sundry additional information.

Soooo, the sooner you can get started on your homestudy, the sooner you can apply to the USCIS for your i800A.

Typically, a homestudy takes 4-6 weeks to complete, but much depends on your social worker and your homestudy agency. A good question to ask when interviewing a homestudy agency is their timeframe for a completed homestudy. I made the mistake of not asking this question with our first adoption and our homestudy took a ridiculously long four months to complete. Believe me, once you've seen your child's face, four months waiting on your social worker will be way too long.

While your homestudy is in progress, you can begin to collect the other documents required for your dossier.

Dossier documents you'll need to collect are:

• Birth certificates for each parent (less than one year old)
• Marriage certificate (less than one year old)
• Physical for each parent
• Employment verification and, if necessary, non-employment verification
  
• Letter of Intent to Adopt written to CCAA
• Financial Statement
• Police Clearances for both parents
• Passports ~ copies of photo pages of each parents' passport (so if you don't have a passport yet, apply for one right away)
  
• Photos ~ depicting family life, number varies by agency
• I800A approval from USCIS
  

Some agencies require a completed dossier before you are allowed to review a child's file, while others will allow you to review files before you've even begun your paperwork. So if you're committed to bringing home a child from China, even if you haven't *found* your child, it is the perfect time to start climbing that mountain of paperwork. Yes, now.

I promise, it will be totally worth it in the end :)

Next post up in the series 'adopting SN: the process'...

Finishing The Paperchase: Authentications, Certifications and Notarizations.

WOOHOO!!

**This post is not, in any way shape or form, intended to be the difinitive guide on compiling your dossier. It was composed under the influence of a faulty memory, mothering many small children, and extreme jet lag. Your opinions, comments and corrections are greatly appreciated.**

adopting SN step one: choosing an agency

Often I am asked, "How do I get started? We have decided we want to adopt a child from China through the special needs program, but what do we do next?"

So, although I am definitely no expert, I offer my best effort in answering that very question.

The entire China program (NSN and SN) has certain requirements for all adoptive families, based on a set of guidelines set forth by the CCAA. Most of these rules are non-negotiable, as in the CCAA will not even consider a family if they do not fit within the guidelines. But some of these rules are flexible, especially within the context of the special needs program. So if you don't meet every rule set forth by the CCAA, you should still contact several agencies to ask their stance on a particular rule. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Here is a list of rules, set forth by the CCAA in 2007, that currently applies to all PAPs:

1. Both adopting parents must be at least 30 years of age and less than 50 years of age.
2. BUT, for the Waiting Child Program, both adopting parents must be between at least 30 years of age and less than 55 years of age.
3. Each parent must have graduated from high school.
4. A couple must be married for at least 2 years. If either parent has been divorced, you must be married for five years. You may have no more than two prior marriages each.
5. You must be financially stable, with an annual income that exceeds $10,000 per household member (including the child you plan to adopt).
6. You must have a net worth of at least $80,000.
7. Families with fewer than 5 children at home are permitted to adopt. BUT, families with 5 or more children in the home are eligible for the Waiting Children Program. The youngest child in the home must be at least 1 year old.
8. Neither parent can have a criminal history with severe outcomes no less than 10 years ago. No history of alcohol abuse unless it occurred more than 10 years ago.
9. Both parents must be healthy, without evidence of any mental or physical illness that will affect their life span or ability to parent in any way, including conditions that require permanent medical treatment or medication. No medication for depression or anxiety for the past two years will be allowed. No history of cancer at all will be accepted.
10. Adopting Parents must have a healthy Body Mass Index (BMI) of less than 40.

Beyond the rules set forth by the CCAA, each agency can interpret the program how they see fit. It's quite surprising how one agency can vary from another to another. That's one (of many!) things that surprised us once we were on the 'other side' and had already brought our first daughter home: all agencies are NOT alike.

After reviewing the guidelines and establishing that you do, indeed, qualify for the China program, I recommend you sit down and make some calls. A list of agencies that participate in the SN China program can be found on our Agencies page. Many adoptive parents either don't know or don't take the time to call around, I didn't do this our first time around, and I think it's a very foolish mistake. Agencies vary WIDELY, and it is foolish to assume anything, especially when you're talking about things as important as wait time for referral and expense.

So, you're ready to sit down and make calls. Have a list ready. Be sure to cover the basics:

cost?
estimated time until referral?
number of families currently waiting to recieve a referral?
how they 'assign' children to families?
do they have access to the shared list as well as an individual list?

Of course, feel free to add your own questions, but be sure to cover those, most basic, questions. Write everything down and organize your notes so you can compare one agency to another. Also, note the following: were able to get someone on the phone quickly? Were they polite and at least attempted to answer all your questions? Did you feel rushed or unimportant? If you weren't crazy about your initial contact with an agency, you might want to consider crossing them off your list. What you see is often what you get.

Know that there is no 'best' agency in the China adoption world. And that's truly a good thing. Some agencies excel at hand-holding, some are less expensive and some have a very short, or non-existent wait list for a referral. But there are many good agencies. Plenty of agencies to fulfill all the needs of the families who want to adopt.

Just be sure you are aware of the good and bad points of that agency, before you commit. Are you willing to wait longer for a referral? Is $ an issue for your family? Are you comfortable using an agency that does less hand holding than others?

So again, I recommend you do your research. Decide for yourself based on your list of priorities and desires. Don't just take your cousin's sister's advice on which agency is best, do the legwork for yourself. Ask questions. Be informed. You'll be so glad you did.

Once you've settled on an agency, applied and been accepted, then the real work begins.

But that's a whole 'nother post :)