tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post8513825858081088541..comments2023-08-23T05:17:47.225-07:00Comments on No Hands But Ours: the blog: I Can't Be Her VoiceStefaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15929186829748543826noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-90497428956395583822010-05-27T09:51:04.898-07:002010-05-27T09:51:04.898-07:00Wonderful post, and my little one and I are right ...Wonderful post, and my little one and I are right there with you!! And she had her repair much younger than your daughter. But still often I don't get what she says and it is so frustrating for both of us. It worries me to no end too, the delay. I have almost already decided that she will do Kindergarten twice, not because she is not smart, but she will need the time to improve her speech. She will need it both socially and academically. I can see her being marked down for reading the word "books" and her teacher thinking she said "book." My heart breaks for her as well, but like yours she is determined and strong willed. Both qualities given to her for a purpose:)Carla Lewterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05105714685878243305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-81315539739220964022010-05-26T09:57:11.644-07:002010-05-26T09:57:11.644-07:00So good! Speech has been the biggest issue with o...So good! Speech has been the biggest issue with our son (nearly 4) from China with CL/CP. I am always encouraged when I see improvement. It's really frustrating for him b/c he's so extroverted and loves to communicate.<br />Excited to hear you are adopting another one!!<br />Blessings,<br />LesliLeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06357696321667626585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-31680806463749265392010-05-26T07:54:25.460-07:002010-05-26T07:54:25.460-07:00I'm glad you're sharing your heart openly....I'm glad you're sharing your heart openly. Parenting a child with significant speech issues can be very grueling. I know it, I'm there too. My son is 9 now and can talk, but it's a very immature way of speaking, as he still cannot say many sounds. It was years until he was able to say anything that anyone understood. <br />So when parents go into the adoption of a CP child thinking it's a "minor" need, I cringe. Thank you for educating with gentleness,<br />BarbMike and Barbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07805951325047699753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-25965372116311999952010-05-25T20:11:40.855-07:002010-05-25T20:11:40.855-07:00Jadon really struggled with this, as well. When h...Jadon really struggled with this, as well. When he was 4 1/2 he had p-flap surgery, and then he really took off. But, at 9 years old, I know that he is still affected by the fact that when he was 4, very few people understood him. He is hesitant to talk to people that he doesn't know, and that is so sad for me. He's such an incredible kid, but most people really don't get the chance to know him.<br /><br />Praying that you travel soon.<br /><br />Blessings,<br />SarahSarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04455698547207302964noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-72015196421089150962010-05-25T20:06:47.132-07:002010-05-25T20:06:47.132-07:00A friend shared your post with me. I actually expr...A friend shared your post with me. I actually expressed the same frustrations on my own blog today. My little one has hearing impairment and a sub-mucus cleft palate. She'll be 3 in October and is still speaking like a 15-month old. We're at the point where we're going to take on learning ASL just so she can communicate with *us*, let alone other people. So far, the other kids haven't discriminated against her because they're young enough to be happy just playing with each other with minimal communication. But more and more, her peers are chattering away in full sentences, while she still barely utters a word in their presence. It's heartbreaking because it makes her seem so much younger and less mature than the other kids. And yet, the opposite is true. She desperately wants to make friends and is tickled when other kids play with her. But I fear that the gap between her and the others will only widen if we don't find a way to bridge it. <br />How much signing have you (or any other commenters here) done with your child(ren)? <br />And as sad as it makes me that other kids are struggling with these same issues, I am so relieved to find other parents who are frustrated and heartbroken like me.Elizabeth Frickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04369568911391997731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-2051926903332729902010-05-25T19:20:46.659-07:002010-05-25T19:20:46.659-07:00I just stumbled onto your blog today and wanted to...I just stumbled onto your blog today and wanted to say thank you for providing such a beautiful resources for families who have adopted special needs kids, and those who want to! Bravo!<br /><br />Your story is inspiring,<br />Hartley<br />www.hartleysboys.comHartleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02463016780946119637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-84714027152502008622010-05-25T18:26:20.182-07:002010-05-25T18:26:20.182-07:00My bio son had a speech problem and he jsut gave u...My bio son had a speech problem and he jsut gave up talking to people. Not many people could understand him so he wouldn't talk. There were many people who thought he COULDN"T talk. Luckily with speech therapy, by the time he started school he ws doing better and people could understand him. I have said it before and I will say it again ...You are the best Mommy for Lil Miss!!!!<br />Hugs<br />Kathiesierrasmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07325423303969796040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-1430711709654504172010-05-25T16:17:10.024-07:002010-05-25T16:17:10.024-07:00L,
I comment from time to time when the subject i...L, <br />I comment from time to time when the subject is speech delay. :)<br />God Bless you! <br />You know, i know very little about the second little boy that you and the prez are adopting, but to me, from the first fotos from the agency's list, he looked like S to me! From the beginning, i thought to myself, how striking is the resemblance there--not b/c of cleft lip etc. --the look in the eyes etc. <br />That determination will carry S so far. :)<br />I am a speech therapist, and working with children with cleft palate is challenging work, but with a determined spirit children can do so much! :)Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07431474012268556820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-70860795142665181452010-05-25T15:11:44.607-07:002010-05-25T15:11:44.607-07:00Thanks for sharing your heart...I could feel mysel...Thanks for sharing your heart...I could feel myself at times in your words, as we found out our son was deaf soon after coming home from China and there are times I just struggle watching him try to communicate, and us try to help him. Each day is a work in progress, and each one is a gift in itself. Thinking of you as you await bringing your sons home!Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17473226313261559531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-33339705098290911072010-05-25T12:27:45.658-07:002010-05-25T12:27:45.658-07:00When my son was struggling with an expressive spee...When my son was struggling with an expressive speech delay, one tip I found online was to carry a portable recorder - the kind that fits in your pocket that you might use to record a "note to self" memo - and when you get to a point where you can't understand and your child is becoming frustrated, let your child tell you what they are trying to say while you record it. Then you can play it back again and again as much as you need in order to decipher it while sparing your child the frustration of repeating herself. Your child will see that you are trying to understand. Just a thought.Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04146641116542160830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-18051453827296088632010-05-25T10:21:28.045-07:002010-05-25T10:21:28.045-07:00I am living through the same pain. My daughter di...I am living through the same pain. My daughter did not have CP, and was not SN. She's from Taiwan, and has expressive speech delay. She struggles on the playground at preschool, at parties with kids close to her own age. . .I am starting her in kindergarten a year later, hoping she will begin to catch up so that it won't be as hard. I know, I'm protecting her from the inevitable. . .but her teacher agrees, she won't be ready yet. Her ST thinks she's doing great, and so do we. And we often understand what she's trying to say, but there are times where we don't, and she just gives up, or says, "ummm," and just changes the subject. She ends up gravitating to babies and adults. The ones who don't judge, and the ones who try to decipher what she's saying or can hold her hand and be lead to the toy she wants. Thank you for sharing, and thank you for allowing me to share as well. Maybe our girls can have a cyber play date via skype!!! Maybe, just maybe, they have a secret language only they understand.momwithfaithandhopehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13777834578467508226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-14187445268519289892010-05-25T07:34:42.973-07:002010-05-25T07:34:42.973-07:00I understand your frustration and her frustration!...I understand your frustration and her frustration! Little T was a heart baby and was diagnosed with verbal arpaxia earlier this year. I too was NOT prepared for this special need. Her heart? Its fine - no worries but her speech, no, not there. Hearing younger kids carry on a converstation with no problem yet when I asked her what she did at school today all she can do is sign play and eat. Oh, she does tell me about her day but we can't understand what she is saying. And being 4, she is starting to get very frustrated too. People tell me all.the.time - she'll start talking soon and then you'll wish she hadn't. NO! NEVER! I would love to hear how her day went, what she is thinking, if she hurts, or if someone was being mean to her. Little T presses on though - and I'm so proud of her. She picks up new signs everyday and has me running to the pc to look up what she's is signing to me!! She's come a long way in the past 2 years and I can't wait to see what the future hold for her.<br /><br />~Carlabbmomof2boyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04083310095847466910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-74022665559126727902010-05-25T07:21:46.791-07:002010-05-25T07:21:46.791-07:00Oh, how I can relate to this!! My little girl fro...Oh, how I can relate to this!! My little girl from China is also 4 1/2 and my heart has broken so many times recently as I've watched the other kids who she used to play with just give up trying to understand her and move on. You are so right - I was SO not prepared for this either! I am sad because sometimes I feel like her dad and I and brothers and sisters are the only ones who can see her TRUE personality, who she REALLY is - because others are just lost on not understanding what she is saying! I want the world to know how wonderful she is! I want the world to see her beauty and her incredible sense of humor. She is one of the funniest children I've met, but you wouldn't know it. How that saddens my heart! But I know in my heart that God created her just the way she is! And while we work and work to give her a voice through surgeries and speech therapy, etc. etc., I SO do not want to miss just who she is today...who God created her to be in this very moment. Thanks for putting words to my recent struggles. I just found your blog today! I love the open honesty that I am starting to see in the adoption world. It is GOOD. :)I am the....https://www.blogger.com/profile/14982567833761216538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-91795184168696119972010-05-25T06:21:46.425-07:002010-05-25T06:21:46.425-07:00Awwww, this makes me tear up!
Like your Lil' ...Awwww, this makes me tear up! <br />Like your Lil' Miss, our Isabelle has BIG speech delays. In fact, many people have no idea what she's saying when she uses more than 3 or 4 words. And I know it causes her grief in her Pre-K when kids younger than her can't understand her... and tell her so.<br />It's heartbreaking some days. But she has more courage and more determination in her little finger than I have in my entire being. She inspires me! I am SO blessed to be her mama :)<br />I love to hear how God changed your heart about bringing home another child with similar issues to Lil' Miss. What a wonderful blessing all your experience will be to your newest son! And I am certain those two will be a blessing to each other as well :)Stefaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15929186829748543826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1812829745872292085.post-82070711453717204892010-05-25T06:18:22.315-07:002010-05-25T06:18:22.315-07:00This is a good post. I know that you are trying t...This is a good post. I know that you are trying to teach self advocacy skills. They are mighty important...yes...but so is self esteem. Being 4 yrs further down the rd than you are, I can tell you that my daughter did not have the skills, resourcefulness, patience, or ability to really deal with that type of situation (that you talked about in your post) until last summer. At 7, she took off. Her confidence took off, because at 7, if someone could not understand what she was saying, she had other tools at her disposal to make herself be understood.<br />I think it is OK, to step in & be their voice before they get to a point of total frustration. I'll still do it today, if I sense my daughter needs help.<br />It's a balancing act to be sure....self advocacy vs interference.Debbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04555423737900445968noreply@blogger.com