I Got This

Refuses to let me help her tie up her gia...

Ping:  I no can do this!
Me:  What's wrong baby?
Ping:  I no can fix my gia.
Me:  Well come here, I can fix it.
Ping:  You know how do it?
Me:  Yea, I got this.
*I tie up Ping's gia for karate class, and she runs out of the bedroom*
Me:  Ahhhh, kids are cute.
Wife:  Oh yea?  What did she do?
Me:  Oh she was just all panic'd that she could not tie up her gia properly.  It must have seemed like a big problem, because she was pretty upset.
Wife:  And you fixed it for her?
Me:  Of course.  That's what Daddies are for.  Sometimes they are so determined to be independent that they won't let me help, but eventually they get tired of trying to do it on their own.

Son#1:  My bike tires are flat.  I can't get them pumped up.
Me:  Why not?
Son#1:  I can't get the pump thing on the other rubber thingy.
Me:  Ahhh, I see.  Okay, I got this.
Son#1:  Mom already tried.  It won't work.
Me:  Hey, just trust me.  I got this.
*A couple minutes later, Son#1 jumps on his bike and goes 'cruzing'*
Me:  Ahhhh, it's good to still be needed.
Wife:  Huh?
Me:  He needed some help with his bike.  I got it fixed up for him.

This is one part of being a father that I really enjoy.  The ability to take care of things for the ones I love.  There is something so satisfying when you can see a situation and help solve it.  Not everything is solved so easily.  Some issues the family face are larger than others... and everyone has a different perspective on the issues currently in progress.  But we parents are not immune to getting scared or confused at times.

Adding a couple of bedrooms for the new additions to the family...

Me:  What do you mean?
Banker:  Well, the money can't be released until the home renovations are 40% complete.
Me:  But... my house is missing part of it's roof.
Banker:  I understand.
Me:  And my one wall is almost completely torn down.
Banker:  I understand.
Me:  And I kind of need the money to complete the construction.
Banker:  I understand.
Me:  But you are telling me that I have no money to pay for the roof trusses, or anything else?
Banker:  That is correct.
Me:  ... okay.  Um, I'm just going to go and cry now.  Can I call you back later.
Banker:  Yea, call me tomorrow.  I'll see if we can switch from a Construction Mortgage to a Refinancing Mortgage.
Me:  Yea... *click*
God:  I got this.
Me:  Yea?  Do you?  Cuz I thought you did.
God:  I got this.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Me:  Hello.
Wife:  Hey, don't be mad.
Me:  Uh-oh.  Look, if it is about money, if you spent any money today, just don't tell me.  Talk to me tomorrow about it.
... awkward silence...
Me:  ... you spent money?
Wife:  I had to put the down payment on the roof trusses.
Me:  What?  Why?!
Wife:  Because the builder said that we were running out of time.  Even with ordering the trusses now, they won't be ready until November.  And they can't risk running into the snow and stuff.
Me:  Okay.  No.  That's fine.  You did the right thing.  How did you pay for it?  The bank account is a little bare right now.
Wife:  I had to use the money in the adoption fund.
Me:  Okay.  Great!  No.  That's... that's fine.
Wife:  Are you okay?
Me:  I'm just freaking out a little about money right now.
God:  I got this.
Me:  Did you hear that?
Wife:  Hear what?  Look, we will be okay.  We have three weeks before I leave for China.  We will get the money back.
Me:  I still don't have the money from the bank for the renovations, and there are some complications...
Wife:  Well, I prayed about it, and went on faith that everything would be okay.
God:  I said, I got this.  Just trust me.
Me:  Okay, you know what, you're right.  It is okay.  I'm sure that the money will come in in time.
Wife:  Love you.  *click*
Me:  Okay God... I donno how this is gonna work... but this is totally in your hands now.
God:  I got this.
... about 2 hours later ...
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Me:  Hello?  Oh, why are you crying?
Wife:  I just got a letter in the mail from my Mom and Step-Dad*.
Me:  Oh?  Everything OK?
Wife:  They just sent us a check for more than twice what I had to pay for the roof trusses!
God:  See.  I told you I got this.  Ahhhh, kids are so cute.  Trying so hard to do everything on their own and be so independent.

See, like my own kids, I struggle with what goes on everyday.  I try to do as much as I can on my own strength and when things go wrong, I try to "fix them".  But really, there is only so much I can do.  But what I am learning, is that sometimes, it is best that I let go, and give the control over to someone else...

• While I was busy complaining about having to wait over 135 days for our LOA, that wait was giving my wife's friend a chance to save up money so she could go to China to help my wife.
• While I was busy trying to speed up some paper work, that delay made it possible to travel at the same time as another adoptive family we know, which ensures my wife will never be alone - and there will be at least 1 other Dad there to help look out for our 11 year old son and do all the 'manly' things.
• While I was busy trying to get a construction mortgage set up, the delays in that saved us thousands of dollars (a long story).

Lukai - coming home Nov 24th

Life doesn't always make sense when we are going though it.  It must not have made sense to our little Ping, Lukai or the other 147million children in orphanages without a mother and father... but there was a Father in the picture, who looked lovingly upon them and softly whispered to them "I got this".

Then that same Father turned his attention to us and whispered softly...

... and I'm so happy we were listening.

* I could blog a whole bunch about my wife's Step Dad.  He has been just a wonderful support though both our adoptions.  He is an adoptive parent as well... but that is for a different post, for a different day.