October 18, 2010

Salt and Light

For the past couple of days I have been thinking about what I wanted to post here.

Was it a funny story about one of my kids?
Was it about Luke’s MRI?
Was it about Ava’s recent transition into good behavior?

No. I wanted to do something more basic.

Maybe answer a simple question that gets asked to me and many others quite often.

Why Adopt?

We started our first adoption process in Oct 2002. 8 years ago. When we started that first process the reasons for adopting were very simple for me. I wanted a child. My arms ACHED for a child after losing our twins. Normal biological means were not an option anymore. And there were children that needed parents. However selfish that sounds….that was the beginning.

And there is always a beginning.

Sometimes you just gotta take baby steps and be spoon fed. Just like reading a book. You don’t know what is contained in the pages so you tentatively open it up and start reading.

And then your story develops.

After bringing Jacob home in May 2003….we could have stopped. We could have said “we have our baby. We’re done”. We saw so many children in Jacob’s orphanage. So many we knew would never find a home and it all felt so overwhelming that I simply couldn’t think of it on a larger scale. I didn’t want to. I just wanted to be content with our new son. I didn’t want to think about the fact that there were MILLIONS of orphans. But God took that little bit that he showed us in Russia and He grew it.

Shortly after arriving home, he offered us to be a part of something else.
He whispered to us about China. About a little girl in China. And we followed Him.

And after bringing Kiah home in November 2005….I was good. Put a fork in me…I was done. I was comfortable with my 2 little munchkins. I mean…adoption is beautiful but it’s HARD and STRESSFUL and EMOTIONAL. And at this point the child-to-adult ratio was good and fun and easy.

And I was settled. But God wasn’t.

And there is always that tipping point….you know….that point where something can either make a difference or not. Where something can either mean something or not.

And then came Luke.

And the minute I held him in my arms…right there God was showing me my tipping point.

A little boy who was in the worst of conditions…physically, mentally and emotionally.

And it wrecked me.

And then the knowledge that kids in this type of condition are out there in large numbers.

Like in MILLIONS. RIGHT NOW. Suffering. In Pain. With No Hope.

God wants us to be wrecked for the things that wreck His heart? Done.

How could I ignore that?

Like the Grinch…my heart grew 3 sizes that day.

And not because my heart sucked. Or because I was incapable before that point.

But because I finally WANTED to see it.

So people ask me WHY adopt? Why keep going back?


Because the choices you make to either get involved or not pay attention… YOUR DECISIONS MATTER.

When you adopt a child you are just not affecting this one little person’s life or your family’s life.

View it in a larger scope.

You are affecting GENERATIONS of people.

Societal norms say that this child will grow up and get married and have kids. And they will grow up get married and have kids. And so will they. And so on and so on and so on.

So with this 1 action look at the impact that has been made.

By investing your time, emotions, energy, prayers, love and $27,000 of God’s money.

Did I say “God’s money?” Yes. I did. God DOES own everything. The chair you are sitting on, the computer you are using to read this, the money in your bank account, the cars in your driveway. He owns it all. No one has ever seen a U-Haul behind a hearse.

And it’s not about trying to be a “Savior”. We already have one of those. His name is Jesus.

Hear my heart.

This is about doing something that has eternal value. And this is not the work for a select “special” few folks. Lord KNOWS I am not “special” like that. If you look at the Bible….God doesn’t choose “special” people to do His work. He chooses” regular joes” to make a difference.

Adoption is an opportunity to be “salt and light”. To help the least of these. To help someone stand when they can’t. To feed someone when they are hungry. It’s about our deeds in this world.

I recently read that our task is to be the salt of society, preserving, reconciling, adding taste, giving meaning where there is no meaning, giving hope where there is no hope.


Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:16




  1. completely. agree.
    why adopt?...such a simple question. such a beautifully written answer.

  2. Thank you! Would you consider letting me post this in our church bulletin? I have been looking for a first article to share with our church body about adoption as we initiate a more formal adoption ministry. Email me at brianandrachel dot davis at gmail dot com please!

  3. Beautiful post - absolutely love it,

  4. Profound! I'm going to be pointing folks to this post from my blog as I've been getting a lot of "You're crazy" or "Aren't you guys done yet?" or "You must be really special to do this" kind of comments from folks lately.

  5. This is a lovely truthful post about adoption and what drives many of us, my family included, to adopt again. Once the "147 million" have a face, smile, giggle, etc..it is EXTREMELY hard to ignore......even for the grinch!! Thank you!

  6. Morning Nic et al - good words here - and like you we can't explain the 'need' we have to return again and again and again (and again? who knows at this point!) What's retirement worth if you haven't done everything you want to do anyway? ;)

    But this I know for certain - it's as much for us as it is for the kids - we get back WAY more from our kids than we would have believed - and we know with every fibre of our being that this was right, good and proper for us to have done!

    Our adoptions make the words "Life is Good" have real meaning - every day!

    The Father rewards the faithful -

    hugs around - aus and co.

  7. I just spent the last hour reading through your entire journey to Ava, and sister, it's amazing you ever made it out of China. Every bad trip I've ever taken paled in comparison to what you went through. Your children are all beautiful, and it was a joy to read your story.

  8. As others have said, beautiful and simply profound.

    This post makes me think of what I often think and ask God to place in the light of His thinking: why doesn't every single Christian family adopt?

    I really don't get it. But I was once one of those who didn't get it.

    As Aus so rightly said, we get way more back. It is not a rescue mission, but it surely is a blessed journey.

  9. I just love your heart, Nicole! Beautiful!!