August 28, 2010

a blessed surprise

Since entering the adoption realm in 2004, admittedly painfully unaware, I've done my share of reading.

My share of gleaning.

My share of asking.

Since then I have also been asked many questions about adoption by potential adoptive parents. And one question in particular has always stood out to me. Maybe because it was one of the first questions I asked myself at the very beginning of our own journey into adoption....

"How will our biological child(ren) feel about an adopted sibling?"

And the answer, at least in our experience, has been one of the biggest surprises in this journey.

And one of the biggest blessings.

Not to imply that adding a new child to any family isn't without challenges. But worrying about our biological children not 'accepting' an adopted child just wasn't necessary.

No bitterness.

No jealousy.

Okay, occasional jealousy over who got a few more M&Ms.

But really, just love.

Real love.

My kids surprised me... their hearts were exponentially more open and accepting than I ever anticipated. In fact, they've completely embraced their new siblings as just that.



I bet your kids surprised you, too.


  1. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful!
    God's blessings,
    Sarah :D

  2. Yes Stefanie! Logan went to China with us and he and Tiana have such a special bond. He was the first to get her to smile and the first to get a kiss! Tyler moved out before we went to get Tiana but he loves her as much as Logan. They are her big brothers and always will be!


  3. Yes, I actually just posted about the surprise we got when we added the last little one: Amazing to see how adoption changes everyone it touches :)

  4. Oh the smile on your little one's face as he basks in the embrace of his loving sister. That sums it up, doesn't it?

  5. yes, I agree - they have surprised us. Not much of any of their feelings seems to be about whether they are biological siblings or not :) They are just siblings. for good or for bad!

  6. Simply beautiful. Like everything you write Stefanie.
    Our children's child like faith and trusting hearts teach us much!
    Love & Blessings from Hong Kong,

  7. It's true..... Watching my bio children with their new sister has been one of the biggest blessings of our adoption....
    In fact, I have learned a lot from watching THEM. I spent SO much time worrying, and praying, about that - and well, I guess probably BECAUSE God heard my prayers, but it has been a TOTAL non-issue.

  8. Our son embraced his baby sister from day 1. Our daughter embraced her baby sister from day 1. However, it took baby sister longer to embrace HER back. It's a process but they are sweet and precious friends now. It makes this Momma heart go pitty-pat.

  9. My bio kids totally surprised us! It was so easy for them to embrace their very young siblings and look forward to meeting their new teen sibling. Even through the not-so-pretty transition they have embraced him and were thrilled when we recently told them we were adopting again! God truly is the One who changes hearts!

  10. I think the surprise here was more in that my bio kids were surprised by themselves. I've always known my kids had a big capacity for love and selflessness and compassion. Just not directed at each other often enough :) And then, along came Li'l E... And they all tumbled, head long in love with her. Fully united in their adoration of her and their fierce protection and nurture of her. It's been amazing to watch.

    I remember a conversation with Shaggy not long after Li'l E "claimed him" as her own. I asked him if he had ever pictured himself (strong, quiet, not given to mushy) falling so in love with a new sister... He sheepishly answered, "No. I mean, I knew I would love her. But I didn't know it would be like THIS." As he had her snuggled up on his chest and his arms wrapped around her whole little body :)