During a fairly normal conversation with a friend I brought up that I was advocating for a child on my blog. A child that grabbed my heart and that we were waiting for God to speak to us about him.
The response: “Another one? Geez guys, haven’t you all done enough?”
I was kinda stunned for a second then threw out a little nervous laugh and reminded him that there were 147 MILLION Orphans in the world. We have adopted 5. Just 5.
That got me thinking about what he said.
What is the perception of: enough?
I actually went to the dictionary (online of course cause I don’t own any other type!) because I wanted to fully understand the actual definition of this word. Not my perceived definition of the word.
enough: occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations.
And there it was….expectations.
Because 5 adoptions doesn’t meet the demands of the orphaned children or the need for families to adopt so the issue is then with the expectation of what is enough.
And because we are human….each person’s expectation of what is enough is different.
I mean….last night at Cold Stone Jacob wanted the Gotta Have It cup size of Oreo Crème Filing ice cream (translation: 12 oz LARGE SIZE ) and I felt that the kids size was enough. He also wanted multiple mix-ins (marshmallows, gummy bears and rainbow sprinkles) and I only allowed him to have 1.
The problem with this issue is that….when it comes to caring for God’s children….the only person that can define what is enough….is God.
To my friend, 1 adoption is enough. His baseline thinking is: There is an orphan problem - you adopt one of them -you’ve done your part.
In my view this isn’t about “your part”.
It’s about God’s call and what HE wants YOU to do.
For some families God’s call is to adopt 1 child.
For another family God’s call might be to adopt 9 children.
It looks different for every family.
In my opinion this can’t be defined with our human eyes. Or by our level of comfort. Or by the level of “risk” we want to personally take on.
Because humans are normally all about comfort and low risk!!! I know I am. Which is why I cannot and do not depend on my own self as a determining factor on whether we adopt again.
Adoption is about a lot of things including risk and being uncomfortable and God never promised that following him wouldn’t be risky or uncomfortable. But sometimes you have to experience those things in order to experience God’s BEST.
To paraphrase the Bible and use a quote by Hudson Taylor to do it: God’s work done God’s way will never lack God’s supply.
He’s done it 5 times for us. 5 TIMES.
God is faithful and He doesn’t fail.
The Bible states clearly that only good things come from Him.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17)
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" (Jer. 29:11)
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Rom. 8:28)
So if God is asking us to adopt again then it must be a GOOD THING FROM HIM.
Therefore we made the decision to let God decide how many adoptions is ENOUGH.
And truthfully…I don’t know what that number will look like.
This is scary and exciting at the same time!
And that’s what following God is all about.
-Nicole
Totally agree. God's blesses and plans individually, for each of His precious children.
ReplyDeleteListen and He will speak. haha Just kidding. He will speak, whether you listen or not and will SCUH-REEEAM, if He needs to.
I thought/hoped we were called to adopt. We are not. But that does not keep me from being keenly interested and invested in all things "orphan" and "adoption".
After all, as Christians, we have ALL experienced adoption. I am now His. Amazing.
Keep listening and obeying. There are many supporters in your corner!!
Thank you for sharing! This question of "enough" has recently entered my mind. We have just completed our first adoption, and in a state of jet lag and trying to learn about our new son it is a silly question to be asking. :) However, I do believe that God will let us know when it is enough, but we've got to be open to what He is saying, I pray that I am.
ReplyDeleteNicole,
ReplyDeleteI read this on your personal blog and think that I commented back then, but thanks for posting this again. We've been feeling our hearts drawn to bringing home another boy and while we only have three (granted all within one year of one another), we are getting those comments too. I'm thankful for your Godly perspective to "explain" myself to friends and even some family.
Thanks, Nicole, for this post. I think it is excellent. We are on our second adoption, 5th child and I have been somewhat surprised at the comments (especially from Believing friends). I needed this encouragement.
ReplyDeleteI really needed to read this today. Thank you. I will be reading it again and again. And maybe even referring others to read it too. :)
ReplyDeleteI'd just be careful that all of your children at home are stable, attached, and doing well- and of course are open to adding to the family:) This advice comes from growing up in a large adoptive family myself. Two of my siblings had significant attachment and behavioral issues and adding siblings before these were resolved (or at least stable) made it more difficult I think for them to progress, especially in regards to relationships with my parents. Otherwise, I LOVE coming from such a big and interesting family and I know it made me a more empathic and open minded child- and adult.
ReplyDelete